Was looking out of my window one full moon night and got all poetic and this poem just came like that to me. Its the first poem I wrote after I shifted to Mumbai.... :)

Luna

Just as darkness slowly creeps

Just as it takes over the night

Not a movement, not a sound

Solitude drains my strength to fight

My tired soul needs not rest

All it needs is a ray of light

To survive the cold and pain that it

Faces as darker grows the night.

In a moment's time i find hope

As in a moment I'm blessed with your sight

Slowly as the clouds reveal

Oh Heavenly Pearl! Your shine so bright.

I have never really been a good judge of character. Well, that is just me being a little too modest. I am the worst judge of character that ever was, is or will be seen if we do actually make it through 2012 without the world coming to an end.

How has it affected me? Uh, well.... Let me be an optimist and say that it has turned me into a stronger, more mature and a lot more balanced individual. But since we are at it, it has also killed parts of me that I know I can never get back.  

Why has it affected me so much? The answer to this is simple. It's because I myself  gave others the key to do so. I mean think of it logically. If you yourself don't give others the access to your innermost feelings and thoughts, is there a way in which they can control your moods or feelings? Agreed that no relationship can be established without letting others in, but the question that arises is to what extent? Should we tell them everything? Yes, there are chances that the person would understand us and henceforth we would be inseparable for life. But can anyone deny the fact that it can backfire as well. And if it does aren't the stakes just too high? You are giving the other person access to the part that controls you, your heart.

You might think of me as a pessimist. I found this trait of not letting anyone in and keeping your guards up extremely pessimistic too. But trust me, there is one thing that I have learnt in the past few days that it's much more important to know the extent to which a person is to be trusted than knowing who to trust. This not only keeps us away from trouble, but more importantly, saves our heart from being broken. Even if you do decide to trust someone, you should also try to think that if it does backfire how much its going to hurt and prepare a safety net for yourself to fall back on.

I don't think I'll ever be a good judge of character but one thing that I know is that I am getting better at knowing the extents to which it is safe to trust someone. And this has definitely made my bitter encounters with certain people hurt a lot less.....

Quote

To all those who almost made me believe that being me wasn't good enough...

Being ME...

To my face you show the best of you

But that is not how it's behind my back

To me you say I'm good to go

Behind me, all that I lack

To my face you say that all is right

To others you just show all my flaws

Whatever I do, you find wrong

It rips me down just like sharp claws.

I always show me as I am

Never do I be something I'm not

I never hold back anything

I show all the cards that I have got.

Is being frank that much of a crime?

Why punish me for being free?

to speak my heart out if it's wrong

It's truly wrong to just be Me.

But though you try to bring me down

Don't know why but that's what you do

I continue being frank and free

For that's the me that is true.

Go on, be bad, do all you can

If you want, tell the others too

Tear me down a thousand times

I'll bring me up fresh, anew!

My Blog

What is a Blog?

A place where you type down all your feelings, emotions, secrets?

Yes! Why not? But for me, my blog would act as my mirror. Show me the Me that I truly am. The Me that needs serious sessions of pep-talk for improvement. Yet the me that knows no matter how wrong I might be at times, I'm certainly not a bad person. My blog would help me understand myself better as what better way of understanding yourself than penning down your thoughts?

I am on a journey of discovering who I truly am. I'm excited about the final discovery but am also nervous about the obstacles. But a perfect blend of the two is what turns a journey into an adventure, right?

So, I welcome you to be a part of my journey to self-discovery, to see the true me that at times is naive  bubbly,chirpy and carefree, the me that is pink; and the black me that is strong, mature, sensible and responsible. I feel I'm a perfect blend of the two. But since each one of us has the right to form our own perceptions,I leave it to you to decide which of the two I'm more like. :)

Antara