It's said that it is the thought that matters, that if you love someone that is what is important. But I feel that expressing your care and affection is equally important in any sort of relationship. More often that not, it is what keeps the relationship from falling apart. This is what I have tried to express through this poem of mine.

My days and nights are spent in thoughts

In vivid dreams of you

The more I try to abstain

The more they seem so true

When my mind's in turmoil and all

I need

Is to know that you're still there

I wonder if you ever think of me

If you even care

What we share is unknown, unnamed

Sustained by hopes and fears

When all I want is to hear from you

Why am I left in tears?

I know you care, you always have

But my heart just won't believe

It fears just like the others left

You might just also leave

I know you're there, I know you care

You might just never go

That you're there for me and you'll always be

Just let my heart too know....

Antara

An ode to the people who proved me wrong when I had started to think that I had made friends, and in the process, turned me into a stronger, more confident, and more independent individual. I thank them all, for each of this experiences have contributed significantly in my personality development, and in preparing me to face the big bad world that consists of more number of people like them.

UNMASKED

You thought it would be way too long
Before I saw your face
You took steps that were small, slow
You kept a steady pace.


You thought that by the time I found out
You would be gone for good
I forgave each thing you did
Each time that I could.

Do I feel betrayed? Not the least!
Do I feel shattered? No!
All I feel is anger that
Tends to turn my mind so slow.

I heard my heart, so I thought you cared
I thought you'd want to help,
But thanks for letting me learn to trust
Not anyone but myself!

So cheers to you! For a great game you played
And though you won these little tasks,
The final victory will sure be mine
For before me you stand, UNMASKED!!!!!

Antara

AWARD

My first award on blogger. I'm thrilled!!!!!

It is said that Liebster blog award is started in Germany and is used to highlight budding blogs or rather another way to acknowledge that they have done a good job. This is awarded to upcoming bloggers by fellow bloggers. It’s for blogs with 200 or less followers and so is a way to spread a word about budding blogs and get them more readers.

Now its my time and here you go :

Rules: 
When you receive the award you must post 11 random facts about yourself.
Then you should answer 11 questions that the nominator has set for you.
Now it’s your turn to pass the award to 11 other deserving bloggers, linking them in your post and   ask them 11 questions.     
You are not allowed to nominate back the blog(s) who nominated you.
Visit their page and inform them about their nomination too.

11 Things about me

1. I am a fashion junkie. It was, is and always will be my first love.

2.I am very scared of embarrassment.

3. Tomatoes make me want to puke.

4. I am more scared of animals than insects. Dogs just scare the hell out of me.

5. I can't stay quiet for more than five minutes.

6. Shopping is therapeutic to me. Buying makeup and clothes can brighten up my mood even during the worst of my days.

7. I like Mc Donalds way more than KFC.

8. I love the rains!!!!!

9. I prefer reading to watching movies because I am able to imagine the characters in a way that I like.

10. I am a pure non vegetarian and am ready to eat anything but beef (and maybe dogs and cats and a few other things :p)

11.I love to travel and explore various places. I love to experiment with fashion too but am not that open minded when it comes to trying out new food joints.

Questions

1. What is your favorite color and why?

My favourite colour is red because I think it just screams confidence and can get anyone noticed. 

 2. Who has been the biggest influence in your life?

My Dad is diligent and analytical and an amazing orator. My mom is carefree and extremely artistic. They have been the biggest influence in life. My dream come true would be becoming even half as amazing as they are.

3. Your biggest regret.

I have regretted doing a few things now and then but I never regretted doing  anything major.

4. If you had 1 million dollars in your bank for a day, what would you splurge on?

I would travel to as many places as half a million dollars would allow. With the rest of it I'll shop to my heart's content.

5.Describe your dream date

My dream date would be at a beach, preferably at sunset. A little dancing, and lots of heart to heart talking, that would just make my day.

6. One person with whom you wish you would have spent more time and why?

I have always gotten enough time with the people I valued in my life. 

7. If you have just a week to live, what would you do?

Go to all the places I have always wanted to go, go to a hospital and fulfill all the requirements of organ donation, and finally I would donate all my clothes and money to an orphanage or old age home on my last day.

8. What is the best compliment you have ever received?

Once during an event the whole programme came to a pause after my performance. People actually left their seats and came up to me to congratulate me on my singing. I can never forget that day and though I wasn't awarded anything, all those compliments just made my day.

9. One achievement you are proud of?

I once got 98/100 in maths. I am extremely proud of myself for having scored these marks as I had actually worked really really hard.

10. If you could go back in time, which historical event would you change?
I would stop the wooden horse from entering into Troy.

11.  One person you are never gonna forget?
I am never ever ever going to forget my friend Nupur. Meeting her just transformed my life and I can thank her enough for always being there, hearing me out every single time. And I definitely wish I had more time with her..... Love you Nupur.

And I'm extremely sorry but I don't know any other bloggers who haven't been given an award already so I don't know who else to pass it on to.

Sorry once more... And thanks a tonne for giving me this award.

THIS IS IT

There is a turning point in everyone's life. There was one in mine too. And that was shifting to Mumbai.

When I got up into that plane on 3rd March 2012 little did I know what life had in store for me. I was sad at leaving my perfectly settled life in Delhi, but also excited at the same time to experience this new chapter of my life that was just about 2 hours away from getting unfolded. I won't get into the details about my life as it was last year because I have planned a separate blog post for it that would come up the day I complete one year in Mumbai. Today I want to talk about how I feel as I stand at the threshold of taking my first step into my last year of school.

Tomorrow, that is, the March 11 2013, I begin will with grade 12. Am I nervous? Kind of! Am I frightened? Maybe a little. But you know what I'm completely sure about? I am excited, brimming with energy and my my mind is overflowing with dreams, goals and aspirations that I have set for myself and have decided to work day and night in order to achieve. But then again, I have been trying to keep my optimism levels under check and my excitement levels under constant scrutiny because this huge bubble that has already been blown up, that hosts everything that I feel, just needs a pin prick to burst, and the pain that I might feel then would be excruciating enough to dampen my spirits for the rest of the year that is to come.

I simply can't let that happen. I simply can't let myself, or others to whom I matter down. I realize that THIS IS IT! It's similar to a do or die situation for what I do this year would be a faint reflection of how the rest of my life would be. 

But that doesn't mean that I won't get to have fun does it? I don't think so. I will live life in every way possible. Do my work diligently, but occasionally break free too and not give up on any of my hobbies or any of other things that I like to do.

Grade 12 is going to be difficult, just like every other challenge. But its difficulty level is what makes it so much fun right? And hopefully it with bring with it many more memories, and a plethora of experiences that would bring a smile on my face later when I would travel down the memory lane.

Antara

This poem is strictly fictional. The weather was amazing a few days ago so inspite of having a lot more to study for my Business Studies paper the next day, I couldn't help but write something.

What I see seems familiar yet so untold

Shimmies the wind descend drops of gold

Sing the palm trees, the sun bids adieu

I feel the damp sand and beside me, you

Our hands entwine, my heart skips a beat

I feel fragile, so weak on my feet

My fairytale comes true, 

Oh heart! Behold!

As shimmies the wing, descend drops of gold.

Antara

This was highly requested by a friend. I wrote it long ago when her really good friend got transferred to a different city. It is through her eyes and how she must have felt. It has sprinkles of how I felt too because he was my friend as well. Here's an ode to my friend who truly is THE KING OF LIFE.

KING OF LIFE

Just as the stars shine bright at night

And depart as rises the sun

You came into my life and then

Left to touch another one.

My time with you, though was short

Was the best of what I have known

You came and cared, taught me to love

Taught me how to let go.

You showed me the true spirit of life

Which was far beyond just me

You showed me the magic that care had

Your benevolence enraptured me.

I thought a lot that how can one

Always do whatever he wants

When all of us us are just mere slaves

Of others words and taunts.

Though you are here with me no more

You led me to a fresh start

Though you are no more here with me

You continue to rule my heart.

Antara

Blizzard

It's dark ,it's cold, a blizzard approaches

Fear is all that I feel

And the longing to escape this time

My true strengths to reveal.

I would lie if I say I did not try

Even more if I say I did enough

I'll cry if I think of it anymore

But I still do have to stay tough.

I regret it badly for I'm cajoled instead

Of being told what I did was wrong

In guilt I writh, in pain I rot

I had known this was to happen all along.

They had faith in me, I wronged them all

Not just them, I wronged me

I know why I'm here and it's because

This is exactly where I wanted to be.

Antara