It's been a long time since I wrote anything. I have been so badly entangled with studies, debates and projects that poetry, that came to me as naturally as breathing started to frustrate me as I tried very hard to make some sense of my thoughts and get them down on paper. I am the kind of person who necessarily needs some inspiration to be able to write. Frankly, I had none for the past month or so.

But recently after watching a movie on the military theme, actually a couple of them, I drifted off into a reverie that touched me deeply. Every citizen of a country owes a great deal to the soldiers who guard the borders and ensure that their countrymen sleep peacefully. We all realise that. But somehow what caught my attention that day was the lives of their families, their wives, girlfriends. Every living second of their's goes in worrying about their men, there are times when they don't hear from them for weeks together. Trust me, I have known people who hadn't heard from their brothers, fathers, husbands, in months. And we can in no way ascertain the trauma that they have to go through.

I instantly picked up my phone, opened up my notepad and started typing my thoughts and they took the shape of the following poem. Through this poem I have tried to depict the situation and condition of a soldier's girl who hasn't heard from him in a long time.

A SOLDIER'S GIRL

I toss and turn on my sleepless bed

Fear takes over my soul,

I hold onto his shirt, his scent

Is what still keeps me whole.

Haven't heard from him in a few weeks

I wonder if he's alive

I shudder as I lay in bed

I pray for his life.

His scent takes me to the time when he

Had looked into my eyes

When he'd taken my hands in his

I cry at how time flies.

I had known throughout that it had to come

When he'd have to leave me here

My comforts seem to taunt me for

For his life I fear.

I want nothing from this life of mine

But for him to safely return

My heart does ache but I still am proud

To be a Soldier's Girl.

Sways the breeze in a wishful waltz

I can just sit and stare

The sun departs in gentle haste

A chill in the air

I seem to gain a part of me

I'd lost to life in the past

I feel alive after years of pain

I feel alive at last...

When all efforts fail, it's hope that keeps us together and gives us the strength to go on. Though a little too dark,this is exactly what I have tried to convey through this poem.

Breaking Dawn

I feel a strange sense of discomfort

Oblivion takes over me

My heart chooses one direction

My mind gives in completely.

Dark clouds approach at lighting speed

Thunder announces the awaiting doom

In these dismal moments I

Struggle to release myself from gloom.

I question myself in harsh tones

How can I let out what's in my heart?

How can I let the whole world know

What caused these recurring smarts!

There is nothing to look forward to

I have nothing to fall back on

I wait for the eclipse to seize

I patiently wait for breaking dawn.

This is a poem that really didn't come to me that spontaneously. Even the title took me really long to figure out. My mind was overflowing with so many thoughts and I almost thought that it would be impossible to get it all out on paper. This poem is based on a few incidents from my life where I repeatedly saw my family's fault and felt that others were my real well wishers. But each time when I fell, it was them who actually helped me get back up on my feet. Maybe I still am young to skillfully see through people and their intentions. I don't really blame anybody, for every fall that they caused made me stronger and got me closer to my family. 

Flight

Two steps at once

A leap or two

I'm far from being sad

Done being blue

I'm sweet and young

A bird so free

I leave my cage 

I leave my tree

Fly over each mountain

Taste the breeze

Feel the sunshine

My soul release

Let the rain

Wash my each scar

I realize

I have gone too far.

I see around

Find nowhere to go

My home? My family?

My world goes slow

Darkness approaches

Vultures fly by

I regret having left

I regret having tried.

With my hopes all lost

I cry away

Just then I see

Life coming my way

My family, they were there

They take me back

To warmth and care

What here I did lack.

I realize my sin

Impatience to be free

Before I even knew

What out there could be

I heard my family

Each time since then

I patiently wait

To fly again....

This is a poem I had written last year when I had first witnessed this amazing phenomenon-The Mumbai Rains. Unfortunately, it didn't rain much last year but whatever I experienced was enough for me, a former Delhiite. Nevertheless, I really do hope it rains cats and dogs this year. I'm sure I'm not the only one who adores the monsoons so much! It truly is my favourite season. Here is an ode to the rains. Hopefully I have been able to capture its beauty and nature that is sometimes naughty, sometimes nice, coated with sugar and filled with spice!

Mumbai Rains

A clear white sky is what I see
The raging sun burns down on me
My mind stops working and I feel low
Suddenly cool winds start to blow.

Stealthily dark clouds appear
The sky is left grey, unclear
Thunder, lightning come in power
Followed by a thunder shower.

Now it seems like the clouds just burst
To quickly quench poor earth's thirst
The world around me has gone dim
The Arabian Sea fills to its brim.

The rain retreats leaving puddles behind
Soon dark clouds get hard to find

The sky looks clear, the sun shines bright
Traffic jams become a common sight.

Sometimes naughty, sometimes nice
They fill our lives with sweet and spice
Unpredictable and never plain
The Mumbai Rains are here again!


Antara

Pearls Of Wisdom

Do what you want and say what you want because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind....

Knock Knock- Reality Here

Isn't it strange as to how we often ignore the most obvious things? I mean, we seem to overlook things that are right in front of us because we feel that not seeing them would save us from the painful stabs of reality. But it is very correctly said, "Merely closing our eyes to reality doesn't change the way it is." So, for the first time in life I tried to come in terms with what actually is, rather than running away to my fairytale world where I am safe from all the harsh truths of life. And guess what? For the first time, reality didn't seem like an enemy at all. Yes, it wasn't too much of a pleasant sight, but it surely was what I needed at the moment. When we are able to come in terms with the present, we become able to change it for the better. Afterall, the pieces of the jigsaw puzzle of our life can be properly put together only by us. So, from now on, when reality knocks, just call it in. Believe it or not, it always brings with it the solution to all your problems, the magic key-Acceptance.

Antara